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Legend has it, that...
When all else fails...
When the clouds rain the blood of virgins...
When a bird in your hand is no longer worth two in the bush...
When you can't explain how pathetic she is without b-boring yourself to the gut...
When there's something strange in your neighbourhood...
When the trains can't even start their strikes on time...
When the answer to the question "Why so serious?" still eludes you...
When the highlight of your day was a BSOD...
When you have no one with which to sin, sin, sin on the dancefloor...
When the God damn pen is blue...
When owning an Apple Macbook is the closest you can get to "cool"...
When all yr castles r belong to them...
When your name is Robert Paulson...
When they think it's all over, and it is now...
When you's afraid o' the dark, chief...
When your Cilit no longer Bangs...
When Mr Muscle won't love the jobs you hate...
When you're dancing alone, you are dancing alone...
When the firey baby demons of hell spring forth from your bath taps to vomit the flames of a thousand bonfires into your manly chest hair...
When your throat is too sore to even say "Awwww yeah..."
When they made you do it...
When WE DIDN'T BURN HIM...
When you've forgotten your password?...
When you realise your upbringing was so hollow and deprived that the only pleasure you can ever find is through whoring your personality out to drug taking, tracksuit wearing teenage fathers...
When you realise you've brought up a shitbag...
When even Chuck Norris can't cure what ails you...
When all work and no play makes Jack a more interesting person than you...
When you realise that deep down, you're just another Bus Wanker...
When you feel a little bit giddy...
...
OWill show you the way.
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